The Boob Tube (link NSFW!!) is the perfect gift for the frat boy blackmailing you because of that mistake you made and your stupid state's statutory rape laws. (Screw You, D.A.!) It is elegant in its simplicity. It's a beer bong, only instead of drinking out of a tube, you drink out of a bewb. Not to be sexist, the company also makes a "Dong Bong" (still NSFW!) but I don't want to talk about that as it makes my penis jealous.
I don't know how those marketing guys got into my dreams, but if anyone puts out a sex doll shaped like a unicorn that shoots diamonds out of its ass when you orgasm inside of it,
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