Scientists at Gyeongsang National University have fulfilled half of my dreams and invented cats that glow in the dark. They are the result of a manipulated fluorescent protein gene that was implanted into the mother cat. Their skin, when exposed to ultraviolet light emits faint glow especially around the eyes and the muzzle.
Fuck solving global warming, finding alternative fuel solutions, or curing cancer! These bastards glow in the dark! Think of the applications! You could go to a rave, tie your cat to a rope and swing it around like a Goddamn tether-ball. Everyone on acid would freak out and get naked, and that's when the lovin' would start. It's all highlighted in my master plan.
Actually,I think they must have read my email wrong. That's not quite what I had in mind when I placed my order. (Get it? ... hint: vagina)
1 comment:
I'm gonna have to change all my stock cat phrases now....
"you can't swing a dead glow-in-the-dark cat without hitting a __(fill in popular object here)__"
OR, the ever popular....
"My mother would shit purple glow-in-the-dark kittens if __(insert traumatic event here)__"
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