Wednesday, February 27, 2008
New Sports Bra Tracks Heart Rate. Scares.
The NuMetrex Sports Bra contains a lower band of electron sensors that monitor your heart rate and then beams the information to a watch so that you can maximize your workout. It sells for $50 with a higher-end model (the F6), which also monitors calories and fat burned. Seems like a good deal, except now your tits look like Darth Vader.
It is available in five colors, but if you buy red or "razzleberry" NuMetrex will donate $5 to the American Heart Association.
You should do this. Your hooters are supposed to bring balance to The Force.
I wish that hooker I was with had one of these. It would have come in handy after I choked her to death. I could have taken the time for a "bio-sweep" instead of accidently cuddling the corpse and telling her how special she was. Stupid tattle-tale semen.
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3 comments:
The best thing about this product is that it comes in razzleberry. That's so fucking awesome.
Even though after nearly a year and a half of study I am pretty well versed in Kurt humor regarding mudering hookers....well...you're still scaring me with that last paragraph.
Hooker = funny.
Dead Hooker = priceless.
"accidently cuddling the corpse and telling her how special she was"
Oh my! Way to embrace the dark side!
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