In a bold move, the Chinese government has deployed thousands of armed troops on Segways to Bejing, to serve as a terrorism deterrent at the Olympic Games. Sources close to the Communist government said the thought was, that if they could get the terrorists laughing hard enough, maybe they'd just "...realize they are being dicks and go home."
Seriously. If I saw a guy coming at me fast on one of these things, it wouldn't matter if he was wielding a bazooka filled with cobras...I'd still laugh at him. I'd be all "You're such a dork!" and then he'd be all "Eat snake, terrorist!" and I'd be all "It looks like you're pooping!" and then I would succumb to my injuries. But I'd still be laughing at him.
