The Beer Belt is an ingenious device that allows you to wear your "Magical Issue Avoidance Juice" around your waist, giving you easier access to your blackouts. It's like a utility belt for alcoholics! The design is such that you can have up to four bottles on you at any given time thus saving your battered wife 3 unnecessary, time-wasting, trips to the fridge when she could be making your goddamn dinner. Sleeveless T-shirt and easy chair not included.
I had one of these, but I lost it in Washington DC. The Secret Service frowns upon people who hop the fence at the White House, crack open a cold one and start pissing on the lawn while yelling "Georgie! C'mon out, you redneck suminabitch!"
Apparently that Easter Egg Hunt is a tradition or something.
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